..gaga f beyonce.telephone..

okay so i for one loved the video and everything about it if u thought otherwise, ur a hater. this video was epic. if u didnt like it then i advise u go sit down sumwhere and complain to sumone who cares. 
lol *smo0ches*

..so.theres.this.guy..

okay so im in a bit of a dilemma and i need your help...who you?? yes you.. lol im a bit iffy about posting my personal business out there for the world to see because it makes me so vulnerable but bare with me as i try to express myself the best way i can...

so theres this guy ive been "dating" since april and im really into him, im sure he knows it but ive never told him ; the reason why i havent said anything is because he hasnt said anything to me ( as far as his feelings goes )... he has never (..maybe once) told me he likes me so im feeling a bit insecure; like "maybe this guy is just not that into me." hes quick to call me when its time for us to have "relations" but as far as us ever going out or doing anything outside the bedroom we dont do much. what i want to know is, 

is this guy into me or is he just after one thing?

..............

[...what u just read above is a post ive been keeping in my drafts for the past couple of days because i've just been too scared to broadcast my true feelings but i feel that if i cant keep it real with you who the hell can i keep it real with?!...]

i already know the answer to my question and ive decided last night after i wrote down the pros and cons of our half a$s relationship.. even tho the pros outweighed the cons// the cons had a lot more meaning to me (for example the pros were more like his physical attributes, but when i looked at the cons ; they affected how i was actually feeling & how he really feels towards me --i will post SOME of the pros and cons below )

PROS: Physically Attractive , strong minded , independent, employed etc.

CONS: never calls/texts me , doesnt care for me, doesnt communicate his feelings etc.

with that being said i need do get over this guy -- cause he is NOT treating me how i should be treated. i know that if i cut him off he will realize that he had a good woman but he f#$%@d up and lost her. 

oh well ....On to the next one!!!

urs truly,

..annoying.ex..

So today he decides to pop back into my life; unexpectedly and definitely uninvited and unwanted. Why does he always do this ? Whenever I'm doing go0d HE just pops up like a friggin idiot in a box (ie. Imagine jack-in- the- box but instead of jack out pops this idiot) if u haven't caught on by now I'm talking about my ex -- and he's my ex for a reason - I dare not say his name because if I do he might read this and try to do a drive by on my house (lol --never that) anyway -- he's seriously annoying me and I politely asked him if he could "please stop texting me" his response was something like "okay I got u" wtf is that suppose to mean? U got what?? U got ME?? No you don't cus if u had me u wouldn't be hawkin me down every chance u get via aim and txt. Lolol I reeeaaaally don't want to be mean but damn! Can a sistah breathe?! With that being said I'm going to bed g'nite folks!!  

PS ever had an annoying ex?? 
How did u get rid of them?? Please do share. :)

..black.roses..

i can say that for the first time in a LONG time -- im happy :) im glad that ive finally moved on from a chapter in my life that i really needed to stop lingering over for a long time and i mean a VERY lonnnnnggggg time! you ever been so caught up "in love" with someone that your blind to the possibility that it may not really be love at all? well that was me -- but not anymore. it took something or should i say, someone else ((wink)) to help me realize that i wasnt in love at all it was just pure lust...and i all i can say is black roses -- in other words that relationship is DEAD..no need to dwell on my past anymore cause my future is lookin bright :)

-vincia

..ray.j.lookin.4.love.again??..

as most of you all might know ray j is lookin for love again, hence the name of his show For the Love of RayJ (season 2). Last season he picked Cocktail over Unique, but apparently things just didnt work out between the two of them so he's back at it again...last nights episode was funny, one of the girls named Luscious "smashed the homie" again!


 
Luscious 


last season it was Danger's crazy behind but this season i think theres an even crazier chic, Lava who got sent home along with Just Right who just wasnt right for Ray because there was no connection. but check this out! he kept Luscious who smashed the homie only because she came clean and told him the truth! (after she already denied it THREE times!)...if you ask me once a liar always a liar she should've got sent home from the jump...but i think its only a matter of time before she gets sent home anyway.

Lava & JustRight

                                  

..lo0kin.4.love..

I've come to the realization that its not my fault. For years I've been beating myself up over a situation I had absolutely no control over and now I realize its not me its him . (Who's "him" u ask...?) Its not me, its my father.

I don't want to place blame totally on my father for being absent in my life and then in turn me searching for love in all the wrong places but it wasn't my fault. My father being absent wasn't MY fault. That's HIS personal problem if he cant/wont/doesnt & never did reach out to his kids the way a father should (now don't get it twisted I'm grateful for my dad never leaving us physically, my parents have been married for about 25 years and he was present in my life financially but we've never had a tight bond like a father&daughter should) and in turn my "quest for love" (for lack of a better expression) was the end result. 


Looking back on my life (via my diaries) I've noticed that for as far back as I can search, I have ALWAYS been in a relationship or I always had a guy or two around I could turn to for affection and I truly believe that affection I originally craved for was affection from my dad.


But now I've learned that God , my heavenly father can and will see me thru the darkness and no longer will I have to search elsewhere because God gives me all the love I can get. Now don't get me wrong... 

I don't want to be single for the rest of my life!!

I do have dreams of having a husband, the kids, the big house with the twodoor garage& the big backyrd but I know that will come in due time. My steps are ordered by God and if I put him first all good things shall follow.

 :) vincia

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

-Matthew 6:33 KJV